From Three Worlds
by The Neliel Tu
Summary: Well...this here's a suicide story! A fullout suicide story...no sense hiding it. What happens when a band member commits suicide? What are the effects on others? ...
1. Prelude

**Well, here's a new story.**

**Sorry for no updates lately, I've been sick!!**

**But...I know this should be 'prologue' not 'prelude,' but I just think it sounds better the way it is. **

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**Prelude**

Late one night, she stole into the toilets, cubicle four. She sat upon the toilet, a blade within one hand, a pencil in the other. Sheets of paper rested between her soft lips, waiting for the graphite to touch upon it.

She set the paper on her lap, waiting for the right words to come to her, waiting. She wrote meaningless words, until some stuck, and then began to mutilate her small wrists.

Up toward her hand and back toward her elbow until the blood flowed nicely. She switched to her other arm, hand shaking as she made the same cuts. Ohhh, the blood feels nice and warm, she noted. Her head leaned back against the wall, her eyes closed, she felt as though she were floating.

She saw a sudden light, and then she was gone. All she left behind were a useless body, a blade, a pencil, and a note.

_Russ, Murdoc, 2D._

_It is nothing against you that I commit this heinous crime. _

_I commit this crime against myself. _

_I wasn't meant for this world in the beginning._

_I feel that I no longer have purpose in this life._

_I feel that there is nothing else left for me._

_So sorry to disappoint, it had to end some way._

_I would rather destroy myself than have somebody else do it for me._

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**Erm, well...**

**Review?!?!  
**


	2. One: Voice of confusion: 2D

**Erm,** **well, here's the first actual chapter!**

**Anyway, I can't say I've got hopes for reactions. I know there'll be mixed...and I'm a bit frightened.**

**But I can say I've got a plan for where this story is going, and I hope to have it done within two weeks, but don't shoot if it's not because I'm not sure what's going to happen in these coming weeks!!**

**Well...read it and review!! Please!!**

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_One: Voice of confusion: 2D_

2D found her in the morning when he went to the toilets. He let the cubicle door slam with a long scream.

Even he knew there was no need to check her vital signs, and he was not hysterical enough at that moment to do it anyway. Instead, he ran for Murdoc and Russel.

Later on, after numerous interviews, a hospital visit, and pre-funeral arrangements, 2D was left to himself.

He sat on his bed, chin resting on his knees, tears building in his eyes. Why did she have to kill herself? There should have been more than what was written on that paper.

Maybe it was because of him. He curled up in his bed, his body aching strangely, neck curling his head into his hands. His eyes closed and he slept longer than he had in so long. What would they do without her?

Even though they were finished making records and everything else, and they had been for such a long time, he didn't want to walk through the corridors knowing he would never chance to see the guitarist again. What had happened, he wondered with a sigh.

He curled up under his covers, eyes squeezed shut against the world with its cruel realities. His fingers popped into his mouth, where he chewed the fingernails off unconsciously, the question reverberating in his mind: Why?

He couldn't remember doing anything wrong, anything horrible to her. He remembered cooking her an edible breakfast when she was sick, bringing it to her bedside. He remembered bringing her laundry to the laundry room.

But nothing he had done in the past months could have had anything to do with her suicide. He hadn't said anything, as was his usual way. He never got into any controversy, but somehow he felt he had done something.

"Wait, I'm being selfish by taking the blame," he whispered to himself. Maybe Murdoc did something to Noodle, he was known for his scathing remarks. Maybe he'd poked fun at yet another of her boyfriends, though he'd done it In only that, fun.

Or he could have said something about her fully developed figure, her newly dyed, ever changing hair. She had let it grow out for a couple of years before finally deciding to chop it short, donating the locks for wigs. She then dyed it twice a month, never the same colour.

Though Murdoc was growing closer to that half a decade mark, he still had eyes for the younger girls. He noticed her slight figure developing, and had never ceased to comment, if only in jokes. She had only a slight chest on her, and barely noticeable curves.

But Murdoc had noticed, and when Murdoc noticed, so had 2D. He couldn't help it with Murdoc licentious looks and remarks. He would stare for a moment, then look away, face flushing helplessly. Noodle would look at him apologetically, as though apologizing for developing.

Russ was always telling Murdoc to shut up, and being rather persuasive. Murdoc would stop, until Russ left, and usually 2D would leave as soon as Murdoc's mouth reopened, so he knew not what went on.

He shuddered in his bed, touching his face, feeling warm moisture on his fingers. He had not realized he had started crying, but he made no effort to stop or clear his face of the tears.

Eventually he fell into a restless sleep, dreaming of Noodle, of her death. He woke many times during the night, reaching for solace in the form of a pill. It would relieve him for a time, until the dreams returned and he woke, almost screaming.

Weeks later, he sat at the kitchen table, staring into a cup of tea, spinning the dark water with his spoon, sprinkling in a bit of sugar every so often. He would sip it, after a quick blow on it, and clutch his head as though it gave him a headache.

He whimpered slightly, he had no painkillers left, and his head ached painfully. A phone rang somewhere, and it pierced the silence so that 2D's head throbbed. He found the source and picked up the receiver, trying to find his voice.

"Hello?" he found his voice, hoarse and filled with pain.

"Stuart?" a female voice asked. "Stuart, it's your mother."

"Mum!" 2D sighed in relief. "Oh, Mum, I've got a horrible migraine," he said.

"Oh, dear, well, I just rang to see that you were all right. I haven't seen you in so long, it seems. How is your band doing?"

Shit, he thought, I haven't told her yet.

"My--my band? We're--we're--" he controlled the sobs lurking behind his voice with a deep breath. "N-Noodle, you remember her, right? She, er, she committed--" he couldn't bring himself to say the word. "She's dead, Mum."

"She killed herself?" his mum asked incredulously.

"Erm, well, yeah." 2D felt the tears slipping down his face. "She's been gone for weeks, oh, God, Mum. I can't believe she really--"

"Why don't you come and see me, love? It's so lonely here at the house."

"Yeah, I think I will, I'll pack my bags an' leave tomorrow. I gotta give some--" he sighed. "No, I don't. I'll be there tomorrow, Mum."

"All right, Stu. I'll see you then. I love you."

"I love you too, Mum." they said their goodbyes, and 2D went to take a shower, his motions slow and dulled. Once he finished, he sat on the toilet and picked the crust out of his eyes carefully, then cleaned them out with eye drops.

He then went to the kitchen and riffled through the cabinets. He found a granola bar and a slightly edible looking banana, shrugged and sat down to eat, slowly. He only ate a bite of the banana, and half of the granola bar.

The next morning he left after another, short shower. He drove off without letting either Russ or Murdoc know, or leaving behind any sort of notice. He didn't care, anyway. They could think what they would, their opinions were nothing to him.

He drove along the M1, hands shaking slightly, eyelids drooping with exhaustion, though he'd slept the night before, his dreams were nightmares. He turned on some music he could sing along with, the Demon Days album. Singing while driving kept him awake.

He couldn't wait to see his mother, it seemed as though decades had passed since they'd last seen each other, though at most it could only have been a couple of years. He arrived in the early afternoon and parked in his mother's driveway, putting the car in neutral and pulling the parking brake.

He shut his door, pulling his bag out, and walked to the door, knocking softly. Rachel Pot quickly answered the door, wearing an apron over her not--so-small bosom. Her hands were covered in flour, and she wiped them self-consciously on her apron.

"Stuart!" she cried happily. "Come in, dear, come in!" she ruffled his hair and made her way into the kitchen, pulling off her apron and rinsing her hands. She hugged her son tightly, kissing his cheeks, her hands running through his soft hair. "I missed you, darling."

"I missed you too, Mum," 2D hugged her back, blushing ever so slightly. It had been a while since he'd been kissed by anyone, he hadn't been close with anyone since Noodle's death.

"Well, go sit on the sofa, make yourself comfortable, you know where everything's at, nothing's changed." Rachel told him. "I'll be along shortly, I'm only baking."

2D sat down, leafing through old family picture albums, gazing at pictures of him as a boy. He used to have faint red in his hair, a light reddish dark blond colour. He looked much different as a boy, he decided, I've really changed over the years.

"I remember you as a boy, Stuart. So energetic, so talkative." his mother said, looking over his shoulder. "Then you fell out of that tree, but you were still so energetic, just less talk. Then that Murdoc came along--" a fire burned in her eyes briefly, it was apparent she wasn't Murdoc's number one fan.

"I've changed so much," 2D agreed. "Everything's changed so much lately though--" his voice broke.

"How are your eyes, Stuart? Can you see all right? Are you still using glasses to read?" she asked her motherly questions, and he answered truthfully. "Would you like some painkillers, dear? I've got plenty, I've been saving them for you, just in case."

"Oh, fanks, Mum, yeah, I'd love some."

She brought him a bottle and a glass of water. He took two pills and his migraine almost instantly disappeared.

"Do you know why Noodle killed herself? Had she showed signs?" Rachel asked him suddenly.

"I-I don't know, really. There was a note, but she only said she wasn't meant for this world...she wasn't depressed, she hadn't been at all, actually. She was always so very happy, so I don't know why she killed herself. I wish I knew, I--" he broke into tears, and Rachel pulled him to her, caressing his back comfortingly.

"It's all right, dear, it's not your fault. She must have had a reason, you always described her as such a sensible girl." She felt his body shaking with silent sobs, and felt her own heart breaking at his misery. "Oh, darling, please don't tell me you've been blaming yourself all this time!"

"I--" he hesitated. "I haven't been trying to, my mind just leads me there, and I think about it, and I dream about her. I don't get a lot of sleep."

"Oh, Stuart." his mother crooned. "You'll be all right. You're still alive, you're still breathing. You can think of her, but don't dwell on her. That's what she'd want."

"Mum, I can't help feeling as though this is my doing, though!"

"Don't worry, that feeling will pass with time. In the meantime, try not to let it bring you down."

"Mum," he whispered, as a bell rang.

"Oh! That'll be the cookies!" Rachel cried, jumping up and running to the kitchen. She brought back a plate of large chocolate chip cookies and a glass of milk.

"Here, have some." she told him. "You need to eat something, and dinner won't be ready until late. You look a skeleton, Stu," she said truthfully, and he sighed, taking a cookie and the milk. He ate slowly as his mother watched him.

"I just wish she wasn't gone. I miss her," he said softly. His mother nodded, encouraging him to go on. "She was just always there, and it still feels like she is. And I was the first one to find her--I found her in the bathroom, covered in her blood--Oh, God, Mum!"

"Oh, darling, my poor Stu-Pot. That must have been so traumatizing."

"I keep on dreaming of it." he closed his eyes. "I can't keep the image away." tears slipped from between his eyelids.

"I know, dear. It'll fade in time, but in the meantime, you'll keep on seeing it. It's like that, I'm afraid." she sighed inwardly, shuddering slightly. She kept so many things hidden from him, it seemed, but she never showed that she did.

"Really?" he opened his sleepy eyes. She nodded, patting his head.

"You look exhausted. Why don't you go take a nap up in your room? I've prepared it for you, go on. I'll wake you for dinner."

"Awright, Mum." he trooped up the stairs to his room where he flopped on the bed, falling to sleep almost immediately. He awoke to his mother's gentle hands shaking him back to consciousness.

"Stuart, dinner's ready." she told him, kissing him on the forehead. He nodded, swinging his legs over the side of the bed and rising slowly, hand moving to his temple. "Head hurt, Stu-Pot?"

"No, actually." he told her, and she shrugged.

"Must be a habit, then," she said, pointing to his hand. He drew it away from his face, and itched his side. He followed his mother down the stairs where they sat to eat a small dinner, talking softly.

"What of your band? What will happen to you?" she asked.

"We've stopped making records long before. There's nothing left, so I guess I should find another career. Maybe I'll join up with another band, or do some acting...or summfink like that."

"Oh, I see. How are the boys taking her death?" she asked, and they both knew he 'she' was.

"They're--all right, I guess. I haven't paid much attention. Murdoc's not out much anymore, Russ never was, but--I don't really know."

"What do you think they'll do?"

"I don't know, and I don't know if I care, either. What they do is not any of my business." 2D shrugged. "I don't know much of anything, really." he sighed and took his plate into the kitchen to rinse it in the sink.

"I hope you will all be all right." Rachel wished, and pulled her son close.

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**Not sure if that was a good way to end, but...reviews please!!?  
**


	3. Two: Unchecked Emotion: Murdoc

**Well, here's a chapter on a story I forgot about! OO**

**And I guess this is until I can be arsed to write my next chapter...is it sixteen now? On my other story. I thought of writing a oneshot...but that'll have to wait. I already wrote a non-Gorillaz one...but I'm not posting it yet.**

**Anyway...enjoy the next chapter.**

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**Unchecked Emotion-Murdoc**

Murdoc sighed, looking down.

He sat alone, leaned up against his Winnebago. He held a bottle of Jack in his right hand, occasionally tipping it against his lips, letting the cool liquid burn his throat. He flicked a cigarette in his left hand, taking a long drag.

He watched the door to the basement warily, eyes focused on the handle. Any faint twitch and he'd be inside in a flash. He did not want to be seen in his current state, but subconsciously, he was crying out for help.

He was lost without Noodle. He could barely admit it to himself, and he did it unwillingly. I miss her so much, he thought. What if I can't go on?

Why would she kill herself? He often asked himself, as he knew the other two men did. Maybe after a few years I'll get used to her absence, but those years will be the hardest yet.

Everywhere he went, he expected her to pop out unexpectedly, like she used to. Every time he was alone, he expected to hear her voice, questioning, with its heavy accent.

"Murdoc, what are you thinking about?" "Murdoc, why do you look so gloomy all the time?" "Murdoc, where are you going?" "Murdoc, Murdoc, Murdoc."

"Noodle!" he whispered sorrowfully, tears dripping from his eyes. His shoulders hunched over as his chin fell to his chest. There was no way he would ever understand her reasons for taking her life. Was it his fault?

_"Noodle, that outfit looks too sexy, why don'tcha go back and change? You don't need ta look that sexy for your friends, do you?" he told her. She huffed back to her room, pulling conservative clothing over her revealing outfit. Why was he acting like a father, he wondered. It's not like she was his daughter. _

_"Are you happy now, Murdoc?" She demanded. He shrugged and she stormed off, outraged. She returned late that night, face red, hair mussed. _

_"Have fun, Noodle?" he asked. Her face paled suddenly and she ran straight to her room. She had been acting strange lately. Maybe it was just her time of the month._

Thinking back, Murdoc decided that she had been planning to kill--to commit--there was no nice way of putting it. She had been planning her death. But why? Why would she want to die? So what if there was no foreseeable future with the band? They were all still good friends, he thought.

Even though I hate the blue-haired idiot. . . He sighed, scratching his head, submersing himself in the healing liquid within his bottle.

That girl--she was amazing. Without her, can we all go on? "Noodle, Noodle, doll. Why would you kill yourself? You were always so happy. You were the stable one." he sighed. "It should've been the fat one--or me." he decided.

Then he kicked himself. It was too late to go back and change things, and play the 'What if?' game. He was dying of lack of sleep. His brain was suffering.

He returned to the confines of his beloved Winnebago, where he lay on his one hundred percent Egyptian cotton sheets, and fell asleep.

His dreams were filled with memories. Memories of her. All the good times, and some of the bad.

He woke up late in the day, his cheeks stained with hot teardrops.


	4. Friends for Always: Russ

**Aww, well . . . Here's a chappie! Chappie!! xDD**

**Enjoi! **

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Friends for Always-Russ

Russ sighed, staring at the wall. It was empty, as it had been for the past sixteen hours. It was still white, the paint on it was peeling slightly. There was a slight dent in it, and a bulge near that dent. Still, nothing had changed in sixteen hours.

_I should really, really get up. Take a shower, take a walk. Talk to someone. Talk to 2D. . . _Russ thought. _But 2D's gone. I wonder how the kid's doing. Poor guy. And Murdoc. He's probably fine._

Russ hadn't left his room in days, it seemed. He only left briefly, and at odd hours, to relieve himself when he felt the need, and to satisfy the rumbling within his stomach. He sighed again, his eyelids were begging to close.

_Just a bit longer. . . _

What else could a guy do when he had lost yet another best friend? How many times was he going to go through this terrible pain? He did not want to feel the hurt again. He would rather feel the emptiness. He would rather bear this weight in silence, alone.

Who could ever fit their feet into Noodle's shoes? There was no replacement. No one.

Air burst forth from Russ's mouth in another sigh. He did not move.

_Why can't I help thinking that it was my fault? Are we all thinking that? I'm sure 2D's blamed himself. He'll be over it fast. And Murdoc, maybe not as much, but still. He favoured her. _Tears fell from the blank white eyes as Russ wondered when the tears would dry up.

_I wish I could stop crying--because she would want us to go on--no. Someone who commits suicide--someone who commits suicide, wants for nothing to change. Only to swiftly disappear from the world as though that person was never within this world. A quick, painless way of escape. But it's not painless. Some one, somewhere, is always hurt. No matter the case. Some one cries. Some one dies a little bit as well. _

Russ shifted then, realising how exhausted he felt. He fell back onto his bed, his eyes still open. He may have felt tired, but there were still too many things flowing through his mind. He was full of thought, and that kept him awake for hours more.

_What would make her--well...why would she do it? She was sensible enough, she had to have had good reason. And not something stupid. She would never kill herself over a fight with a boyfriend--though I still wouldn't rule that out. What could it have been? Why wouldn't she tell us? We would have done everything we could to help her. Everything in our power. _

His eyes drifted toward the window, searching the empty night sky. What was he looking for? He saw a bright star winking, winking at him, it seemed. It turned a sort of lavender colour, and he sat up, thinking of Noodle and feeling an incredible calm wash over him. She was in a better place, he thought, and she wanted him to know that so he would stop thinking about her. Go to sleep, Russ. You need your sleep, you are taking care of two grown children.

How right was she? 2D and Murdoc could never fend for themselves, he thought. Maybe they could, but the results of letting them go off on their own would almost certainly mean catastrophe. Russ rubbed at his nose, watching the purple star. The star that calmed him. That star had to be Noodle's way of reassurance. He hoped so.

Even if it wasn't, Russ was going to let himself believe that it was. For the time being.

"I love you, Noodle." he whispered, his voice low, strange. He did not mean a romantic love. He meant the friendship they shared.

"And I hate losing my best friend." he covered his face and lay back down to cry himself softly to sleep. He slept deeply and well, waking up refreshed after a dream of the way Noodle used to be, when they would speak secretively in Japanese, often calling Murdoc or 2D "baka."

He knew then that things would change, and he could begin to accept her death as reality. Not the reality he wished to choose, but reality nonetheless.

And he hoped that he would heal over time.

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**I'd like to take this time to announce that . . . nevermind. I have nothing to announce!**

**Well, for now...**

**Bai bai!**


	5. Just a little bit longer

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Just a little bit longer . . .

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It came three weeks after 2D returned to Kong.

2D found it, lying behind the front door. The mail slot was broken, from all the hands that had dug in, for any sign of life. Whoever the unfortunate post man was, hopefully he was not among those no longer living. 2D picked up the thick letter, studying it briefly. He might need his glasses. He carried it to his room. On his way, he bumped into both Murdoc and Russ.

"I found this in the post." 2D told them.

Murdoc snatched it from his hands. "Well, let's open it then. There's not a return address--maybe somebody wants us for a gig-"

Just to mention a gig was painful, for all three of them. They all winced and looked down.

"Could be a royalty cheque, or sumfink." 2D offered.

"Money's always a good thing." Russ nodded.

Murdoc pulled a thick letter out of the envelope. There was something Japanese written on the top, then it said "Mr. Kyuzo. "Guys, this is about Noodle." Murdoc's voice was somber. Russ's eyes doubled in size, and 2D itched the back of his neck, his head down.

Murdoc read the letter aloud.

Dear Gorillaz,

It is with deep regret and sadness that I write to you this letter. I heard of Noodle's death through the news. Her tragic suicide. You three must all be asking yourselves--Why? That is the primary reason I am writing.

You may already know that the twenty two other children that were like Noodle were destroyed by the government. There was a reason for that. Ever since Noodle was young, even before I changed her life, she knew she was different, and that she had a higher purpose in life.

Her higher purpose was with your band. She wanted to create music for others. That was her main goal in life, therefore I gave her the weapon of music. But that, unfortunately, is not the only weapon I gave her.

The reason those other children were destroyed is because they were all highly intelligent, highly dangerous killing machines. Noodle knew her fate, and she knew that she had to destroy herself, as wretched as that may sound. If you have the urge to rip this letter up and throw it away, please, bear with me for just a little bit longer.

The other reason was because once these children reached a certain age, they would kill anyone they saw as a threat. Any slight threat would set them on a rampage, the red mist would eventually come down and they would succumb to a killing frenzy. Noodle destroyed herself because of the possibility she would kill you three. She always said that she would give her life to save others. She said that one life has less weight than a thousand, or three.

She did not kill herself because she was miserable, or because you did something to her. No, Noodle killed herself because she did not want you to suffer. She was not thinking of herself, only of you. She would have liked to continue living, as a normal human being, but that was just not possible.

If I had known that all of this would happen, I would never have done what I did. I knew it was a bad idea from the start, but somehow I could not stop myself. I thought that having an army of superhuman children would really help us, but I made them too strong.

I am truly and deeply sorry for all of the pain and suffering that I have caused. Please have the heart to forgive me.

&&&

When Murdoc pulled his eyes from the letter, he was crying. 2D and Russ were, as well. They all wiped their eyes quickly, slightly embarrassed. Murdoc tossed the letter on the floor. "I can' read no more." he told them, and walked away to his Winnebago. He soaked his pillow with body wrenching sobs, silent sobs. He could barely breathe.

The memories were still so fresh.

"Muru-docu! You are so silly!" she teased him, rubbing frosting on his shattered nose. They had been making gingerbread houses. Murdoc had not wanted to, but had been forced. He actually was enjoying it, though he didn't want to admit to it.

"Noodle, you're getting frosting on my gumdrop fence."

&&&

There was another time, a more serious time. Noodle had found out some horrible news. A letter, short and simple, in the post. She had been getting letters, some long, some short, but they were all from the same address. She had been a pen pal to a soldier, an American soldier. She knew how lonely they got when they were at war. She made up a name and wrote to him.

Then, the letter came. The last one. It came from him, part of it.

"We're stationed at . The weather's all right. We're going into combat later. I hope we make it out alive. Thank you for writing to me." He had died in combat.

Murdoc held her as she cried softly. She hadn't known the soldier, but she had felt like she had, and he knew how that felt. He knew. God, did he know.

&&&

Everything dies eventually, Murdoc decided. 'I just wish it'd a been me first.' He thought, bitterly.

&&&

2D sighed to himself. Noodle had been so great. She had been his best friend. He wished she were still there, to meditate with him, to calm his nerves. She had always been great at that.

"2D, you look so stressed."

"I am, Noodle. I've been lookin' for my front door keys for weeks, an' I'm havin' a fit."

"Oh. Well, why don't you come into the kitchen and have some tea with me and meditate? It will help you to relax." she offered. He took her up on that offer, following her to the kitchen, sipping at a hot cup of green tea. After they finished tea, they sat upon mats and meditated.

2D felt the calm rise from his toes to the highest spike of hair on his head. As soon as they opened their eyes, he suddenly knew where his keys were!

Right in his back pocket.

&&&

They would never meditate together. It was just too bad that Noodle would have gone psycho-crazy eventually, he thought. If only she could have stayed, just a bit longer. Instead, she had taken her life, and in turn had taken an amazing band member, friend, and healer.

Too bad you couldn'ta stayed, just a bit longer, 2D thought.

&&&

Russ rubbed his temples. If Noodle were here now, she would tell him to have a mug of tea, or smell some candles, or take a nice bath. But she was not here. And she could not tell him those things. He could tell himself, but somehow he knew it just would not be the same.

He understand clearly her motive now. He realised that it was, indeed, a good one. But he wished she would have waited. There had to have been warnings, signs. She could have waited until the first sign, or told them what was wrong.

But he understood. He couldn't change the fact. He rubbed his blank white eyes, sad eyes.

&&&

"Russ." Noodle placed her hands on either of his shoulders. "Russel, what is wrong?"

"Nothing, sista'." he told her.

"Would a game of Dance Dance help? You look so sad."

"It might. Let's play, I'm gonna beat you this time, Noods." he told her.

"Yeah, right!" she grinned, and they played two songs.

After the second song, Russ sat back, panting, but happy.

"Better now, Russ?"

"Yeah, sista'!" he grinned.

&&&

Russ sighed. Would they ever truly understand Noodle's death?

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So this might be the end. Unless you want me to continue! Review and let me know!!

Oh, and I might visit what Murdoc meant by knowing how Noodle felt about that soldier in another story sometime later...


	6. From Your Three Worlds

**Aww.. This one…oh, this one…**

**Sigh…let me spoil the mood with this…**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gorillaz.**

**And!! Coming soon!! (maybe tonight when I'm awake again!): The...21st chapter of _It Shouldn't Happen This Way _since I'm seeming to abandon that story!! I'm sorry!!! Anyway!! This!**

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** From Your Three Worlds...  
**

_I know I will not be sane for much longer, so I know I must write my story before it is too late, before the insanity grips me, and I must destroy myself._

_I am sure it all started when I was born, and I was one of the chosen twenty-three children. I was chosen to become a superhuman. If I could have known the fate I had not chosen for myself, I would have wished it all away. I could not have known everything that would have happened. _

_I, personally, do not think I was meant to live in this world. _

_But that is beyond the point I am trying to make before I lose control._

_I know it will come soon._

_I lived in Japan for the beginning of my life, with Mr. Kyuzo and the other children. For some reason, I was the one he kept hidden when the government began to kill the others. He brought me into the basement, looked me in the eye, and said "Remember, do not let them kill you now. You are the only one who can destroy yourself."_

_He paused, and a tear glistened in his eye at the thought of losing his children, I know he had been attached to them. _

_"Listen well, my child, you are the only one who can destroy yourself." He repeated intently. "You have a message to deliver to the world, I know it." He told me urgently. "But one day, you will snap. Please remember, and anticipate it. I cannot give you a time frame, but that was the one flaw when I created you. _

_"In order to protect the ones you may grow to love and care for, you must do one of two things. The choice will be hard to make, I know. You must either destroy yourself, or put yourself into isolation." He sighed sadly, his sigh so deep I thought that his chest may crack in two. I wanted to throw my arms around him and sob my heart out to him, to tell him everything would be okay, that I would always be with him-but I knew better. _

_That was the night he sent me away. To England, An unknown land that I had heard of only in books, and occasionally on the television. Every so often an English band, or an American band would do a tour, and it would be vital for me to experience it, as my chosen weapon was guitar. _

_"Come, my child." He spoke in a wise voice, his hand pressed lightly between my shoulder blades to guide me. His hand was warm, comforting. It felt right, somehow. He was like my father, or a kindly uncle. _

_He led me to a large crate, "Fed-Ex" or perhaps it was "Ded-Ex." I could not tell for certain. He smiled at me, apologetically. _

_"Is this—a present for me?" _

_"No, my child. I am sorry." He handed me my prized guitar. "Take good care of it, you will be needing it to convey your precious message." He warned me with another apologetic, pathetic smile. Then, he told me to step inside, which I did, after begging him._

_"Please, Kyuzo-san, tell me, what is the meaning of this?" I asked._

_"This is for your own safety. You will be better off in the place I am sending you, to a band looking for help. There will be no government agents seeking to destroy you, at least, that is in my hopes. I do not want you to be destroyed before you have had your chance. I want to see you live."_

_Then, he pushed me gently into the crate, shutting it after me, encasing me in sheer, terrifying, darkness. For some reason, it got even darker, and when I woke, I heard mysterious noises, and I could remember nothing. I only knew Japanese, and perhaps one or two English words. Words that would have been, perhaps, engraved in my repertoire of vocabulary by walking the streets and hearing "Engrish." _

_I sat upon the floor of the crate once more, terrified of what would happen when the box opened, but that was quickly replaced with excitement to get out of the box. _

_It seemed to take forever before I was finally hauled to a place of rest by a couple of grunting and panting delivery boys. I could hear their every word through the air holes poked in the sides and top of the box._

_"What the hell did they bloody order this time?"_

_"I dunno, Ralph, maybe it's anuvver life-sized zombie?"_

_"Nah, I don' thin' so, Jerry, this 'un feels dif'rent, y'know?"_

_"Oh yeah? I dun' thin' so, Ralph."_

_"When 'ave you e'er been right, Jerry?"_

_"Aw, just shut it all ready and let's get this damned thing up the hill."_

_"Ugh, but it's so high, and steep, Jerry! Why couldn't we just drive the van up?"_

_"I told you. It'd'a gotten stuck, ya dumbass. Now come on, let's pick it up…" _

_I sighed as I listened to their panting and groaning, but they could not hear me._

_I rose to my feet as soon as I felt the bottom of my crate touch solid earth, ground, floor—I didn't care what it was, it was no longer moving!!_

_Curiously, a blue-haired man with dented in black eyes peered in the box, after prying it open with a crowbar. I jumped out, fell to my knees and let out the most impressive guitar lick I could muster, and said the first word that came to my head…Noodle. _

_And that was how I was dubbed. _

_&&&&&_

_I was always happy, in those early days. I always had a smile, ready to reveal, always had something kind to say. I felt like I belonged, finally. It was such a nice feeling, to belong. _

_However, I knew it could not last. Kyuzo-san had warned me. I had been told. I knew it would happen. I knew the flaw would kick in._

_Luckily, it began happening as we were finishing up with what was supposed to be our last album, our last tour, but there was speculation (there always was) about us continuing to make music, and to perform live, and all of those things. I knew, however, that it could not happen, unless my band mates were to replace me._

_Somehow I know they never would._

"_Noodle, wot's wrong?" 2-D asked softly backstage before a show. _

"_Nothing! I'm perfectly fine! Just a little bit sad is all, but these are emotional shows!" I lied. I knew my time was drawing near…that was just two weeks ago. _

_I wish anything else would have happened. The only thing that would have come out of my breaking point would have been a dead 2-D, Russ, and Murdoc. But first they would have suffered._

_All they would have seen was the torment that began within me spreading to the surface, and that would hurt them. I wanted them to be spared that suffering. Because that suffering would only grow worse as the breaking increased, until I became a pure fighting machine, set only on death and destruction._

_I had to destroy myself. _

_I did not want them to see the pain I would be suffering, the pain that Kyuzo-san and I knew about. The pain that he knew about all along. Sometimes I hated him for choosing me. Sometimes, I wished I would have just died, but then I remembered all of the beautiful times I had working with Gorillaz. _

_I did not choose my own fate, but I had to kill myself. It's strange to write something like that while I am still alive and thinking clearly, but I know that by the time this is read by anyone, I will no longer be breathing, or thinking…or anything._

_Just that sad thought brings tears to my eyes and makes me regret this. But I have already chosen my fate, and I will not go back. For the sake of 2-D, Murdoc, Russel. I destroy myself. _

_Deeply, truly, eternally, I am sorry. _

_I did not want it to end this way._

_And I truly understand if you hate me, as weird as it may sound coming posthumously. _

_But I hope you do not hate me for my actions. I hope you can understand that I did it for you, Murdoc, Russel, 2-D. I did it for us. _

_Love, always and forever,_

_Noodle_

Noodle, after writing her lengthy goodbye, folded it tenderly and placed it in a thick envelope, hurrying as she felt her pulse accelerating, in a bad way.

She rushed to put a coat over the top of her outfit, and ran to the foot of the hill as fast as she could, placing the large envelope, addressed to Mr. Kyuzo in Japan, snugly in the mailbox, with the flag up so that the mail-carrier knew to pick it up.

Then, with an unhealthy burst of adrenaline, she ran back to Kong Studios, her eyes wide and feral as she panted all the way to the toilets.

It was that night that she took her own life, tragically.

Even though it may have been for the good of everyone else, her life was still weighty.

_Goodbye…_a thin voice wafted down the stairs, drifting through the studios like a ghost. _I'll always be here…watching…_ The strange voice floated like a spiritual presence, hanging over _her_once favourite haunts.

_Always…from your three worlds…_

_&&&&&_

**Well! I do hope you enjoyed my…ending! Sorry it took forever! But I do hope that this is fulfilling!! To the end!**

**Please review!!**


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